Warrior Not Worrier
I got a call a couple days ago from my Oncologists office. “Your MRI and Bone Marrow results are in”, they said. “Would you be able to come in on Wednesday and meet with Dr?”. I had been feeling good physically. In fact, I have even had a strong desire to get back in my studio and stamp. I was eager to create projects for classes and events again. It felt good to feel good. When I got the call however, for a minute, I got an anxious feeling in my gut. “This is it,” I thought. I realized the outcome of these test results could mean either complete remission or the start of a new battle. Ready or not, here it comes!!
I know that God is always with me but over the past few days I have really felt as if He has been blessing me with constant little reminders of His love and faithfulness. For instance, to keep my mind from worrying, I asked “Alexa” to play some Christian music. Suddenly, the song, “See a Victory” by Elevation Worship came on. That song has been my anthem through this journey. I just smiled as I listened to the lyrics and was reminded of God’s faithfulness, I knew He was near.
The next day, I sat down to do my devotions which happened to be the day before I would hear my results. The message in my devotional book that day was entitled, He Supplies All Your Needs. I went on to read, “It’s so easy to become anxious about all the what if’s tomorrow may, or may not bring. But here, Jesus says exactly what to do in any given day or circumstance, seek God’s kingdom first and foremost. That means putting both palms up and saying, “Okay, God, I trust You and believe that as I live out this day for Your glory and do what You lead me to do, You will provide everything You know I need.” That includes peace of mind that passes all understanding to rule in your heart.
I am grateful that during my battle with Stage 4 Lymphoma, God blessed me with that kind of peace. Knowing that I am someone who tends to worry a lot, it has been incredible to go through so much hardship yet experience so much peace.
Then, my son Kalani and his wife Joyce, came over with a birthday gift for me. I opened it to find this awesome shirt along with a sweet handwritten note telling me that I was a Warrior, not a Worrier. The shirt had that same message written on it. I LOVED the gift so much. I wore the shirt to my downline meeting last night. As you can see from the photo below, I was feeling very energetic and oh so happy to be back with my stampin’ sisters again!
Warrior Not Worrier
Even through this was the evening before my test results were coming in, I wasn’t worried of fearful. Instead, I was feeling so grateful. These wonderful women have been so loving and encouraging to me.
Shannon and Susan at Inspiration Night
As I captured this photo of these ladies, I thought about one of the first times they came to my home for a stamp class. They knew that I was having physical challenges and they asked; “Can we pray for you”? As I took this photo of them I noticed the word HOPE behind them. I thought of hundreds of others, besides these three, who have been lifting me up daily in their prayers. Feeling those prayers has blessed me with so much hope. I am so thankful.
Sheila, Val and Margie at Inspiration Night
I stepped back and scanned the room for a moment looking at everyone enjoying creative time together. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I thought about how grateful I was to be there with everyone. I looked around and saw the faces of so many who have come along side of me and helped me throughout my cancer battle.
Benita and Cindy at Inspiration Night
Many of these women have experienced extremely difficult challenges in their own life, yet they have used the strength that they’ve gained in those battles to uplift me and help carry me through. I hope to follow their example and do the same for others!
Well, today was the day! I felt an overwhelming sense of peace as my husband and I sat in the waiting room once again. There are often lots of people in the Cancer Center but today, it seemed a little empty.
Straub Cancer Center
Suddenly the door opened and out walked a couple. The lady was bald and wearing a hat just like me! Both she and her husband were smiling. They glanced over at us looking cheerful and we smiled back. I was happy for them, it appeared they had just heard good news. But then I thought, perhaps, no matter what news they’ve just heard, they still have joy! It was a good reminder for me that no matter what I was about to hear, I was ready to be a warrior and not a worrier! I continued to have faith and trust in God knowing that He was in control. Seeing these two gave me such a great example that no matter what was about to happen, I was determined to leave the office at peace.
A few minutes later my Oncologist sat with Derek and I and delivered great news. “Your MRI is clear”. He gave us some information about that report and then he pulled out a second report, the one that we had been waiting for.. “Your Bone Marrow test showed no signs of cancer”. He went on to explain that my fast growing Lymphoma was cured and that my slow growing Lymphoma was in remission. He said that they don’t ever say that the slow growing Lymphoma is cured and it is something that will have to be carefully monitored for the rest of my life. As I tried to take everything in I looked at my doctor and said,” I just have one question, Am I cancer free?” and he said, “YES”.
On the way home we prayed in the car, thanking God for this good news. Now I’m back at home where I am sitting on the couch where I have spent so many days over the past year. There are reminders all around me of the battle I’ve been on. Including the port that I still have in my chest that will remain there for the next couple of months. I don’t mind it one bit, as one day it will be a scar! However, whether now or then, when I see it, I will be reminded of this battle and of the faithfulness of God who helped me through it.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude and thanksgiving to God. He is so good!
Cancer Free
I don’t know even how to begin to thank everyone for all that they have done for me. There are SO many. Please know that as I am celebrating today’s news, I am thinking of you and asking God to pour out his blessings upon your life! I am grateful for your faithfulness to shower me with love, support and prayers this past year.
The bridge of my anthem song, “See A Victory” says, “You take what the enemy meant for evil and you turn it for good”. I am grateful for all the good that God has brought out of this journey and will CONTINUE to bring out of this journey. I am thankful for the transformation He has done in me. He has taken a worrier and turned her into a warrior. I will continue to fight fear with faith. I will continue to trust and I will forever be thankful, grateful and blessed.
This battle is OVER!
I See A Victory!
To GOD be all the glory, honor and praise,
Cindy
