I was in college when one of my classmates ran into the gym where I was and said, “Cindy, your dorm room is on fire”. I didn’t believe him until I stepped out of the gym and could see the flames in a distance. That was the first time something unexpected really shook me. Fear quickly set in as I watched everything I owned be destroyed in a matter of minutes.

In 2016, after a routine mammogram, I got a call from my doctor. “Are you sitting down?” he said. “You’re diagnosis is ductal carcinoma in situ.” I scribbled these words on a napkin and tried to listen carefully to the rest of the conversation. In my mind, three words kept replaying, “you have cancer”, as fear began to set in.

Unexpected news comes in many forms.

As I was working on this post, I got an unexpected text message from a friend. The message that went out to everyone in her phone said, “Please pray for 4 year old Gavin who has just been diagnosed with a rare type of brain cancer”. Immediatly my heart broke for his parents whom I am guessing were not expecting something like this to happen to their precious little boy.

Finding out that I had stage 4 Lymphoma was not unexpected. In fact, since I had been so terribly sick and unable to breathe I was elated to finally have a diagnosis. Although, I know that my diagnosis probably came as unexpected news to many of my friends and family. Especially those who didn’t realize how sick I had been.

Not all unexpected news is bad. This past Mother’s Day, I received the news that I was going to be a Grandmother. That unexpected news filled me with so much joy and on that day I fell in love with my grandson to be! The timing was perfect. I placed his ultrasound photo in a frame near my bed to remind me to keep fighting my fears with faith. I asked God to strengthen and heal me so I would be able to meet him one day. I am so grateful to God for answering my prayers and blessing me with the opportunity to meet him on the day he was born. These past 2 months have been amazing. I just love him so, so, so, so much!!

The day after this photo was taken I began a week of medical procedures.

My husband was on a business trip on the day I had to go for my second bone marrow biopsy. I was a little nervous because I remember what a help it was having him there with me for the first one I had. My sweet friend Cindy offered to come with me. She held my hand and coached me through it. She reminded me to breathe and relax. Cindy has been such an amazing support to me during my cancer journey and I am so grateful for her love and friendship.

I endured the week of testing and over all, things went well. There were a few moments, however, that were unexpected and challenging.

My week started with a mammogram. Since going through cancer treatments, I was overdue for this procedure. I felt great after it was over until I got home and had an unexpected message that I had to go back and have a second one. Fear began to set in as I remembered the last time I had been called back. I tried to stay calm and trust that everything was going to be okay. I asked my friends and family to pray and thankfully later that evening my doctor called to tell me not to worry. She said it wasn’t that they found something, per se, it was just that they needed a clearer photo. I went back a few days later and got the results back already, everything is good!!!

When I saw my eye doctor, she did an exam and then said, “there is no more inflammation in your eye”. I laughed and I asked her if she would mind saying those words, “no inflammation” one more time. I told her “do you know that in the past year, I haven’t heard any doctors say that”, it was SO nice to hear! So as far as my eye goes, all is well; however, I will be having an MRI tomorrow just to confirm that everything is completely clear.

I was not expecting the day I went in for a thyroid ultra sound to be my most challenging day. As I walked down the hall with the technician, who would be doing my procedure, he looked at me and said, “As I do your exam today, I am going to be able to see exactly what showed up on your PET scan, but I am not allowed to tell you anything.” I hopped up on the table and I smiled and said to him, “You can tell me what you see, there is nothing that you can say to me that will shake me. I’ve been through a lot this past year so its all good, I have faith.”

As he continued the procedure he began to talk to himself. I heard him say things like “polyp” and “ah, there it is”. He was being so open about the findings that I wasn’t surprised when he handed me a towel and said, “After you sit up, I will share a few things with you.” I sat up feeling peaceful and to my surprise he said, “Well, your doctor will call you in a few days to tell you the results”. I looked at him with a surprised look and said, “OH, I thought you were gonna share about what you found!”. He paused for a minute and then said, “mmmmmmmmm, well, don’t be surprised if you get called back to biopsy what I’ve found today”.

As I left the office, I felt really uneasy. I felt like that was the weirdest interaction I have had in this journey yet. Instantly I allowed fear and discouragement to set in. As I shared about this experience with a friend, I heard myself repeat the words that I had said to this unprofessional technician, “there is nothing you can say to me that will shake me, I have faith”. So where was my faith now? I began to wonder, perhaps this strange interaction was more of a test for me. Am I going to be someone who has faith over fear or am I gonna to allow fear to shake me and bring me down.

Thankfully, a call from my doctor later that evening confirmed that although something small was found, it is not believed to be anything serious and we have a plan in place to keep an eye on the situation.

So what are the next steps for me? Right now, I am waiting for my bone marrow results to come in. This could take 2 to 3 weeks. Thankfully, I feel peaceful as I wait.

I am confident that God is in control. I know He is dong a work in me. Through each challenge I am learning how to let go of fear and walk in faith. I am thankful for the growth that will come in my life because of cancer. I trust God’s perfect plan! My confidence is in Him. So, I will continue to fight as I look to Him as my hope and strength. He is so good!

Since I’ve been feeling better, I’ve taken steps to return to work. I’m not doing a full load of classes as I did before, but slowly easing back into it, one step at a time.

Last weekend I hosted Birthday Bunco. This event featured products from our Birthday Bonanza Suite. The middle project (pictured below) was our Aloha Prize, a make your own birthday cake kit!

The little treat bags are actually our new Printed Gusseted Cello Bags they are 3 x 9, so large enough to hold a lot of goodies. Since I filled the bags with animal crackers, I decided to make the bags smaller. I used a heat sealer to seal the open end of the 3 x 9 bag, I then cut the bag in half so I could get two bags out of one. I made three different designs that all came from the Bonanza Buddies Bundle.

These were quick and easy toppers to make and really helped make the event more festive.

It was SO good to be together with everyone again. I am a people person and I love hosting Stampin’ classes and events.

Thanks to my friends Susan and Shanda, I had a new hat to wear to bunco! And thanks to the American Cancer Society, I had a free blonde wig to wear under it.

When Becky and Rox came in Becky kissed my cheek and looked at me straight in the eye and told me how much she loved me.

Becky (pictured above on the bottom right) and Rox have both blessed me with their love and encouraging words during my cancer journey. Just before Becky left and she hugged me once more she said,” I have been praying and even fasting for you and I will continue to do so”. I just wanted to cry. How can I be so blessed to have so many kind-hearted people in my life. People whose prayers have blanketed me during this difficult road. I am so humbled with gratitude and thanksgiving for all the love being sent my way.

As I close today, my heart is thinking about little Gavin. I will be lifting him up in my prayers tonight. I will pray for wisdom for the medical team that is caring for him. I will pray for financial provision for all the medical bills. I will pray for his parents that they will find comfort and peace in the midst of this storm. Ultimately, I will pray for his total and complete healing.

So many of you reading this have been fervently praying for me, I am so grateful. I know it is because of the faithful prayers from so many that I am doing so well. It would mean so much to me if today you would please say prayers for precious little Gavin, too.

Let’s believe together for a miracle. .

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you, wherever you go” Joshua 1:9

With Faith, Hope and Love,

Cindy

Faith Over Fear

Stamped With Aloha

Faith Over Fear

Warrior Not Worrier

Love Laura

Stamped With Aloha