Good News!

As I waited to go in for my PET scan my phone rang. I wasn’t going to answer until I noticed it was a call from the Cancer Center, so I picked up. It was Enna on the phone, one of the cancer center nurses. She was calling to remind me that I had an appointment there the next morning. As she spoke, I could sense her smiling as she said, “Don’t forget to wear your RED AND GOLD” tomorrow!” I had to laugh. I have had the best time with these nurses, especially over our football rivalry that started the day I showed up for treatment wearing my Russell Wilson Seahawks Jersey! That was the day I found out that there were more than one 49er fans working at the center. Since she told me to wear Red and Gold, I decided I’d have to show up wearing as much Blue and Green as I could find in my closet!

After I finished my PET scan, I was hungry. My friend Zeny met me and took me to Whole Foods for lunch. As I was checking out, the gal bagging my groceries smiled and said softly, “I’m a 6 year Cancer Survivor of Metastatic Breast Cancer, you keep fighting!” It was strange that two days in a row, God had put people in my path to say those words, “I am a Cancer Survivor”. I remembered my devotion from the day before and how those words are important to hear, because they give you hope!

My scan was over and I was indeed filled with hope. Even leading up to it, I was amazed at the overwhelming peace I had. There is no explanation other than it was a blessing from above. I kept telling people who inquired how I was feeling, “I have a peace that passes all understanding”.

The next morning was the 30th of January. At 8am, I sat with my husband in my Oncologists office. It seemed like the wait for him to come in was a little longer than usual. For a moment, I considered that the delay was due to him dreading coming in to deliver bad news. Yet, even with that in mind, I still felt peace as I awaited the results.

My doctor came in and shared good news. “Over all your scan looks good! The lymphoma appears to be in remission and your lungs look clear”. He proceeded to show us the PET scan and it was miraculous to see how clear my lungs were in comparison to where they were in August. He went on to share a few concerns, one of them being my bone marrow, where cancer had been found before. So, next week, I’ll be having a bone marrow biopsy to confirm that cancer is not there anymore.

My Oncologist, Dr. Craig Boddy

I am grateful to God not only for this good news but also for blessing me with an amazing oncologist, Dr. Craig Boddy. When I chose him, I was in bad shape physically. I was barely able to breathe and felt like my life was going to end within days! Therefore, I had to make a quick decision. We interviewed a few oncologists and Dr. Boddy was by far the one we felt the most comfortable with. While going through my treatment, I have had numerous people tell me how blessed I am to have him because he is such an excellent doctor. I couldn’t agree more. I appreciate that he doesn’t make me feel rushed when I have appointments, he listens carefully and answers all my questions and he laughs at my jokes. Oh yes, and then there is the fact that the day I met him he was wearing pineapple socks. I told him that was the deciding factor in my decision to choose him as my doctor, LOL!

After my appointment with Dr. Boddy, I went to the Infusion Center for a blood test. Enna laughed when she saw my outfit. I told her, “didn’t you say to wear my FAVORITE colors today?” As I finished my treatment, I told the nurse helping me that day that I was really going to miss coming to the infusion center. I told her, “I won’t miss having treatment, but I will miss all of you” The nurse hugged me and told me she understood what I meant and then told me how happy she was for me that I had received good news!

My friend Cindy sat with me through my blood test and then drove me home after. As we left the cancer center she took this victory photo of me so I could post an immediate update to my Instagram account. I knew many people were waiting anxiously to hear my results.

See A Victory

As we drove home we talked about how surreal it felt. Like I had been through so much over the past 10 months and now, was it over? Well, not quite because I still had these follow up tests to do to confirm the cancer is gone. Then, there is also the realization that the slow growing Lymphoma can come back and if it does, it usually happens in the first two years. It felt like we should celebrate, but then with the unknown results of my upcoming tests, there was a hesitancy. We both felt it.

The next day fear set in once again. How could I have so much peace awaiting results and then when good news was reported rather than praise, I started to panic? I began to wonder, what if it’s in my bone marrow? Will it come back within the next two years? What can I do to keep it from returning?

Here is something that helped me get back on track and let go of my fears!

In my “Praying Through Cancer” devotion book, I read about a Pastor who had lost his first wife to Lou Gehrig’s disease when they were still newlyweds. Now, 22 years later his second wife was diagnosed with cancer. It was hard to watch his wife face an uncertain future and he was struggling. One day he came upon a car with a bumper sticker that read, Is Jesus enough? When he saw those words he wondered out loud, “Is He really?”.

Here is a segment from page 180 - 181 of the book Praying Through Cancer by Susan Sorenson and Laura Geist, that really spoke to me. This segment was written by Lynn Eib who was the pastors wife who had been diagnosed with cancer.

Have you asked that same question?

If I lose a breast, is Jesus enough?

If I lose my hair to chemo, is Jesus enough?

If I have to quit work, is Jesus enough?

And worst of all, if the cancer doesn’t get cured, is Jesus really enough?

My husband answered that question two weeks later when he preached a powerful sermon entitled, “Jesus is Enough”. In it, he reminded all of us that God doesn’t need to do another thing for us on earth. He has given us His one and only Son, and in Him we have everything we need to cope with this life and every promise for eternal life, Jesus IS Enough!

Hearing this revelation really helped me get my perspective back in the right place. You see prior to hearing my results I knew that Jesus Was Enough. I knew that good news or bad, it didn’t change the fact that I have received the greatest gift from God, when I accepted Jesus into my heart. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt where I will spend eternity.

I also know that God has blessed me so much. I have seen His power at work during this journey. I have experienced the miraculous. I have felt an overwhelming amount of His love through so many who have blanketed me with prayers, kind words and acts of service. So knowing all of this, why would I allow fear to creep in to my heart and mind?

I think its because in life, we will face unexpected challenges. When we do, we have a choice to make, we can give in to fear or we can have faith. For most of this journey I have been strong in my faith. However, there have been unexpected times like how I was feeling a couple days ago where I allowed anxious thoughts to consume my mind. I am thankful that today, those thoughts are gone. I can be at peace and rest knowing once again that the battle belongs to the Lord.

In my studio, I have a message board. Here is the message I put up recently to remind me daily of this truth.

Be Still

So the next time fear creeps in, I hope to remember this promise and the encouraging testimony of a struggling pastor who reminded me that Jesus Is Enough.

Thank you again for your continued love, support and prayers, especially as I face next weeks biopsies. I am truly grateful to each one of you for walking with me through this journey and encouraging me every step of the way.

With a grateful heart,

Cindy