Football and Faith

I promised the nurses at the Cancer Center that I would wear my blue wig for my final chemo treatment. That morning as I got ready to go, I felt a little intimated to do so. However, when I walked into the Cancer Center there was Sonya, the Cancer Center greeter, all decked out in her New Years Eve attire which included a pink tinsel wig! Suddenly, I felt empowered and encouraged as we linked arms together and she escorted me into the infusion center for my final treatment.

Cindy and Sonya - Final Chemo Treatment Day

The nurses were all smiles when I marched in with my blue hair. It made me happy to see all of them, it has been one of the highlights of a very challenging season! They got me all settled in a bed and my final treatment began.

Final Chemo Treatment Day

It was good to talk story with them, especially these two who love football as much as I do. I’ve observed each time I’ve been there how caring they are not just to me but to each patient that comes through the door. It makes me happy to see people passionate about what they do. These caring nurses really do make a difference!

During the holidays, I had been feeling well, so I told my daughter that I didn’t need her to come over and help me anymore. I thought I would be fine as I anticipated the end of my treatment. My daughter, Jessica, has been such a blessing to me during this season! Jessica has sat with me through every treatment and she was there with me on December 30th, at what I HOPE to be my final treatment.

Cindy and Jess

That day as we left the Cancer Center the nurses called me over to ring the final treatment bell. It was the perfect way to ring in the New Year. After ringing the bell, I was touched when they presented me with a second bell to take home with me. This bell was blue because they know I love the Seattle Seahawks, but they tied it with Red and Gold ribbon so I could be reminded of their love for the San Francisco 49ers. Those rascal nurses!!!

Ringing the Bell at my final chemo treatment

The next day I had to return to the cancer center for a shot. It was New Year’s Eve. I was really grateful to God that my chemo treatment ended in 2019, with hopes that 2020 will be a year to celebrate a miraculous healing!

My daughter helped me put together a gift for the nurses. I brought them a bouquet of red and gold roses (49er colors), tied with a blue and green ribbon (Seahawk colors), to remember me by.

Flowers for the nurses

For the first few days after treatment, I was feeling great as I usually do. I expected to have a couple of days where I felt really tired and drained, as that has been the pattern. However, I was not expecting to feel as low as I did following my final treatment. The after affects of treatment 6 hit me harder than any of the other treatments.

I found myself completely drained. I was unable to do anything other than lay down and stare at the ceiling. I had no energy to read or even watch tv. I just laid there feeling horrible. I had new symptoms arise such as a tin taste in my mouth. I felt more nauseated than I had after any of the other treatments and my body just ached everywhere.

Then the unexpected happened, in addition to my physical challenges, I began to struggle emotionally and spiritually. I let bad thoughts consume my mind. I ignored the promptings to call my support team to ask for help. I didn’t call friends or family to alert them to pray, instead I just sulked in this depressed state and I allowed fear and discouragement to consume my mind.

Thankfully, my husband alerted my daughter who came right away to stay with me. She prayed for me and encouraged me and just having her here lifted my spirits.

One day while I was still struggling but feeling enough strength to look at my computer, I went on Facebook and noticed a lot of my friends were talking about Kirk Cousins, who is the quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings. Being a football fan, I had just watched the Vikings beat the Saints. I knew who Kirk Cousins was but I didn’t really know too much about him personally. Friends were posting about comments he made in an interview after the game. One of the comments said, “Win or Lose, God is still on the throne”. I clicked on one of the links about him which led me to a story about his life. In the story, he shared about his junior year of high school and how he was playing quarter back and wanted to perform well for the college recruiters who would be coming to the game. In the first quarter of his first game, he broke his ankle and he thought all of his college dreams were ruined. Then his Dad encouraged him to read Proverbs 3:5-6 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and He WILL direct your path.” This verse became Kirk’s life verse. Even though Kirk was injured that year, he was still offered a full ride scholarship to his dream school, Michigan State. He later was drafted by the Washington Redskins and in 2018 became the quarterback for the Vikings. God’s plans for Kirk’s life were bigger than he could even think or imagine!!! Watching his story with the simple reminder of his life verse really lifted my spirits at a time when I really needed a fresh perspective on my health situation.

You see, like Kirk’s broken ankle, I was feeling broken. January is our annual saleabration, I have all these beautiful new products I wanted to use to teach classes yet with no strength, I was unable to work. One of my yearly goals is to earn an incentive trip with Stampin’ Up! but without working, all of my hopes of doing so this year were beginning to fade. I was also discouraged that I didn’t even have the strength to hold my grandson because I felt so weak and tired. I began to believe, like Kirk did, that all of my hopes and dreams for the future were ruined!!!

Then I realized I might have Cancer, but Cancer doesn’t have to have me! Like Kirk, I believe those words in Proverbs. I am grateful that God led me to Kirk’s story when I was feeling low because by watching it, I was uplifted, strengthened and encouraged.

Today, I am feeling so much better. My energy has returned and every day I am regaining strength. The anxious feelings have gone away and once again even though I am facing a lot of unknowns, I am at peace.

My next step is to wait until the end of this month where I will have a PET scan. This test will show if the treatment I just finished worked. Once I find out these results, I could be in remission, I could require more treatment, I might have to have more biopsies or surgeries and I could even end up needing treatment that would require a move to the mainland for a season.

In life, I know I will face “unknowns” on a daily basis. So, its best for me not to fret over what I can’t control. I want to remember Kirk’s life verse and apply it daily. I can do this by trusting God, even when life gets hard. I can let go of trying to figure out why things happen the way they do and instead embrace the challenges that come my way with faith that God is in control. To do this I have to acknowledge that He is with me and spend time not only talking to Him but even more important, listening. This will lead me to feeling joyful no matter what my circumstances are because I know HE is faithful and I am confident that HE will direct my path.

This past Sunday we were rooting for our Seahawks to win as we always do!

Go Hawks

Sadly, they lost to the Green Bay Packers. That is our son in law’s favorite team, so he was quite happy with the outcome. One of our dreams one day is to go to a Packers/Seahawks game together. Although we may sit in different sections, lol.

Brett and Derek

After the game it was Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson who encouraged me. Although he had just lost a game he fully believed he would win he didn’t let the loss dampen his spirit. As I watched him being interviewed after the loss, he had a smile on his face as he continued to look to the future with faith, hope and trust.

No matter what comes my way, I am going to continue to fight fear with faith! I hope to inspire others in the same way these young quarterbacks have encouraged me by living out their faith in what they do.

Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers! I thank God for the amazing people he has surrounded me with during this journey!

If you are in a valley today, click here to watch Kirk’s story. I pray it will encourage you as much as it did me!

To God Be the Glory!

Cindy